My Crazy Male Encounters

The other day I wrote a Facebook status about some of my crazy female encounters in the past year or two so I think it’s only fair I give a few excerpts of some of my crazy male encounters. Let me dive right in.

An older short Nigerian man I just met was begging me to live in his empty Trasaco(expensive gated community) house after I told him I was too busy apartment hunting to go on a date. He kept asking for my parents’ number saying he was going to meet them and let them know I was moving to his house and that he was barely ever in the country and the house was empty except the house girl(maid). He also told me he loved me after 5 minutes of meeting me. He got so offended that I said hell no to his offer and started saying how if we were in Nigeria I wouldn’t even be able to walk up to him in the streets. Apparently lots of crazy girls in these streets move into strangers’ homes.

A young Ghanaian guy I had just met at this office asked for a ride home because he supposedly lived by the person I was with who I was dropping off so I obliged but insisted on dropping him first. He wouldn’t really give directions and started talking about how he needed a break from his house and would like to crash on my couch. The other person I was dropping off lived by American House(a strip mall) so when I got to the american house bus stop I pulled over and told him I’m sure he could find his way home from there. He sat in the car for 5 long awkward minutes still talking before he finally got out... I thought maybe he was homeless or having issues at home but he was also doing some weird flirting and there was no way I was taking a stranger to my place.

This man eavesdropped and wrote my number when I was giving it to someone else outside a club, he called expecting me to know who he was, and called to tell me he was at his father’s funeral out of town but when he gets back he wants to go out. I thought hey people deal with death differently so I decided not to be harsh but was just polite. I never went on a date with him. Only figured out who he was when he finally changed his dp to a picture of himself. He then would bump into me from time to time and would act like it was the first time we were meeting and want my number and I’d decline and it would be a whole scene. He was so drunk at one of these encounters at the French ambassador’s house he threatened to beat me up because I declined wanting to be around him. And after his friends intervened he said he thinks its fate he keeps meeting me and wanting me that we are meant to be. Even our one mutual friend was feeding into that psychosis saying maybe I should just go on one date. I said this is how women get murdered. I’ve said it clear a dozen times I am not interested in this wacko. Funny thing is I see him being mentioned all the time how great a guy he is by mutual male friends. They are always the dangerous ones to look out for who will have a whole army of friends defending them if they were accused of harassment or assault.

I got food from a nearby restaurant late at night, sat there for thirty minutes waiting for the fresh grill to be completed. I felt this person watching me the whole time and made sure to avoid eye contact. As I got my food and was rushing off he started to try to have a conversation and I pretended not to hear. I had an odd feeling so I started walking super fast and turned the corner, three blocks away from home there he was in his truck behind me, drink in one hand still, asking me where I live, telling me how he wanted to get to know me more and wanted to give me a ride home. I had to stop walking and say no to giving my number and no to the ride. He did the usual, “Are you serious? Come on... why not? I’m a nice guy” routine. I said if I couldn’t walk home I would’ve driven. I stood and told him to turn around and drive before I would continue. He then started saying how he wasn’t a stalker or anything but I just stood there and squared off continuously saying goodnight. When he finally turned around and drove off I ran super fast home. Men rarely have to deal with that fear.

This one friend kept telling his wife at the time that he was out with me and some friends because for some reason his wife was okay with me and I had never met her, she was some celeb living elsewhere. Truth was he was out with the girl he clearly liked which his wife knew or was suspicious about and dragging some of us along all the time so he could say I’m just with Portia and friends. I wanted no parts of the mess so I decided the business we were going to do wasn’t worth it and cut friendship ties. They aren’t even married anymore.

This Indian guy kept contacting me recently till I blocked him, wanting me to book sex workers for him and his friend for their first ever trip to West Africa to relieve stress. Mind you this is through my travel and tour company after I wasted my time discussing day and night time packages I could create. I’m apparently a pimp. Their trip is supposed to be in March, I wonder if they’ll do it since I told him I had most of his details and would most likely be giving it to customs and my secret service friends.

Ohhh that reminds me of when I was asked by a friend if I could help a doctor’s convention transfer locations. They were one week into a two week international seminar and hated where they were in Aburi, a mountaintop town. I did the checks and got better quality alternative locations in Aburi that could accommodate the group but when the doctor called me directly he said it was too late to switch and that’s information for next year. He then proceeded to ask me how much it would cost him to sleep with me as he had seen my dp and wanted some fun but was on a budget. I asked him if at any point when we were introduced there was any mention or indication that I was a prostitute? I couldn’t understand why he was so bold with the disrespect. He then started to try to apologize and I hung up. That was the second time I was speaking to him, first was on speaker/group call with our acquaintance stating the problems and if I could help.

This man got so angry with me because I said I wouldn’t go on a date with him because he was a heavy cigarette smoker. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to have a preference and it was discrimination. He then tried to pull the whole “maybe I’m supposed to date him and help him quit, make him a better man“ speech. I said he was a grown man and his choices weren’t going to be based on me.

This military man who was childhood friends of our friend (awesome gentleman) cut his foot at our hotel pool, since we were the ones staying at that hotel, we took him to our room to get it cleaned and to give him a bandaid. Afterwards he wouldn’t leave the room, he just lingered awkwardly till we had to say okay get out. We had already said “we’ll meet you downstairs” aka leave. He thought we wanted a threesome? He gave us major creep vibes, I thought he might have a mental health issue. He apparently proceeded to tell everyone how amazing we had treated him, we literally poured hydrogen peroxide on his foot, put a bandaid on, gave him hotel slippers and tried to send him off... We later found out he was also bragging about how much we liked him and who he was going to sleep with first. He proceeded to get so clingy when we got back to the poolside, followed us everywhere, we were quite confused at the time. We told our mutual friend we didn’t want to see him again for the remainder of our trip. He then proceeded to tell all his friends that our mutual friend had cock-blocked him and we really loved him, painting his friend as this evil villain.

One friend asked me to answer his phone and speak to this girl pretending to be his girlfriend because she wouldn’t leave him alone. I said he should just block her but he insisted. Some women don’t take no for an answer either. It was such an odd conversation, I felt like she was plotting my death already. She texted him something along the lines of ”so it’s an American girl that’s why you are forming... and just dating, not even engaged”. I told him he was on his own. I value my life.

Ohh let me not forget this one time this guy pushed and pushed that the group of us go hang at one of his dad’s apartments cause he was playing landlord and staying in one. We got there and the power went out and they had no generator, he still begged us to come in for a bit. We went into the room and gosh... torn mattress on the floor, dirt, things all over the floor, windows a mess... If the power had been on who knows what we would’ve actually seen. There was nowhere to even sit so we were confused and left. He later said it was some kind of test...right okay.

There’s so many crazy encounters, I could go on and on... let me stop here for now, save some for part two and three.